Courtroom Intercession

It's been a while since I entered anything - more for busyness than lack.

I've been going to court lately as one of the men I have been visiting in jail has hearings. Court can be a discouraging place. Since these are hearings and not trials, there is a lot of activity as the front of the courtroom is full of attorneys - about a dozen or so - prosecuters and defense alike. Over the period of three hours inmates are brought down in their red jump suits and in chains to appear with their attorney (in most cases hugely overworked public defenders) before the judge.

I feel the disillusionment and cynicism in the room. How hard it must be for the defense attorneys to present a compelling case that their client (with a string of offenses) should be released or bail lowered or some other thing. I wonder if they have a hard time believing it for themselves. How difficult for the judge to remain open to possibilities, to not be cynical when he sees person after person, case after case, some people over and over again - how to judge justly. And what is it like for the prosecuting attorneys whose job it is to accuse and make the accusation stick? I feel despair.

How to pray in this place? We make it our business to forgive those who have wronged us, to bless those who curse us, to pray for those who persecute us - this is our template. We bless the judge and pray that they would do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with Father God. We bless the defense attorneys, pray for their energy and encouragement, and that the Holy Spirit Advocate would stand with them and guide them. We bless the prosecuting attorneys and pray that Jesus would stand between them and the Accuser in a job that is so much about accusation.

Beyond that it is hard to know how to pray because it is hard to know what the person in front of us really needs and what God really wants to do for them. How do you pray "God's will" in that place? Often we simply pray quietly in tongues because in our weakness we don't know how to pray so the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words... He intercedes for us according to God's will.

Persecution

I was driving Jamie back to Lummi tonight. Usually I am trying to think of how to make conversation with my big friend. But he is all talk this evening.

Like most gangsters, Jamie's is a sad story. He is trying to live in a new way now and it's been hard. Twice now, groups of homies have stepped up on him trying to pick a fight, and one who spit in his face got what he asked for. It bothered Jamie that he fought this guy - he felt like he took a step back into the life, so what's the point?

What difference does it make if I stop slinging and banging? What difference if these guys are still going to come after me?

"The difference is what is going on on the inside," I tell him. I point to his chest. "There is new life going on in there."

I talked to Chris and Bethany cause I wanted their opinion. I'm telling you this cause I want your opinion. Do you think I should have fought that guy? What do you think?

"It is hard for me to tell you what you should do, Jamie, because I've never been in your shoes. I haven't been in fights. I can't imagine what its like to try and leave that life. But here's the deal. All the guys I respect wouldn't have fought."

What?

"I don't mean any disrespect to you, but I'm talking about Jesus and Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. These guys got beat on but didn't return the beating. Jesus got spit on and beat and executed. Their non-violence changed things."

It's hard. I thought once I decided to make a change that life was going to get better, but it isn't. It's hard.

"Yeah. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake." And everyone who wants to live a godly life is going to be persecuted. That is what is happening to you."

"It's like if you keep garbage on your porch and racoons and rats are always getting into it. Then you clean it up, but the racoons keep coming around because they are used to finding garbage there. After a while they stop coming because there is nothing there anymore."

"You can ask all sorts of people their opinions, but I am finding it is good to ask Jesus." I tell him a story of his friend Pipe, asking us for our opinion, our praying with him, and what he hears from Jesus. "I think if you ask Jesus, he will speak to you. If you aren't hearing anything or aren't clear, then you should ask your friends."

We talk some more about this and I keep thinking about what he is experiencing right now and his discouragement.

"You've probably heard Chris talk about Jesus' baptism. When Jesus comes out of the water he hears God say, "This is My Son, whom I love; I am happy with him!" The Father keeps speaking that over him because it is core to who he is. You are My Son. You are My Son. Don't forget that no matter what comes against you. Then the Spirit takes Jesus out into the desert and he is tested by the devil and at every point the devil tests the core thing God has said: "If you are God's Son, prove it; do this. If you are God's Son, prove it; do that." That is what is going on for you, Jamie. You want to live a new life and the devil is testing you, telling you to prove it."

Jamie nodded and grinned and began to rap, something along the lines of all this stuff is going on / I think I'm going to lose it; I'm trying to live a new life but the devil tells me to prove it...

Later he asks me how I came to know God and I share some of my early story and how when I took the step things actually got more difficult. He says he just wishes things were better; nothing seems to be changing. I challenge that:

"Jamie, look at what is going on for you. You got hooked up with Loc Saint and your music is getting produced. You went to LA and got to meet Homeboy Industries. And the clincher that you are on your way is that the devil is messing with you. He's afraid, man. He wants you to lose hope. He wants to discourage you, so he is sending a lot against you. He wants to pull you back. No. You are on your way, Jamie. God is moving in you."

Is Forgiveness Enough?

He sat on the floor of our bathroom, his head in his hands. He lamented the choices he had been making, wishing he could take them all back; wishing he could go back to weeks ago when we ran into each other on the trail near my house. He would have made a different choice if he could go back.

His confession was combined with drug-induced paranoia. I'd seen him a few weeks earlier, bought him lunch and given him a lift. At that point I told him he could go to detox and stay in the nightmare of his addiction and life on the streets. It is a much longer story, but he told me he wasn't ready for detox.

Perhaps, now.

He looked up and asked me, "Do you think forgiveness is enough?"

I surpised myself by answering rather quickly, "No. It's not enough."

He looked at me with questions, and I said, "You ALWAYS have forgiveness. The love of the Father is ALWAYS pursuing you; always! He never gives up. He is always for you. Just ask and it is yours. But you need more than to be forgiven. I need more than forgiveness. I need empowerment to live in a new way. YOU need empowerment to live in a new way."

Jesus didn't live, die and rise again just so we can be forgiven. Forgiveness gets us back from negative accounting to zero. Jesus wants to move us into the black, into positive numbers, into life abundant, into a place where we are exercising authority over the things that have mastered us. He came to bring us into our authority as daughters and sons of our Father in heaven, where we are exercising His Kingdom authority on earth as it is in heaven.

The Presence Provokes

As I was leading worship last Sunday, the presence of God was very powerful. What I mean by that is that I found myself in tears at times, while at other times the air seemed heavy and charged with energy so that I bowed under it. God is always with us, but sometimes He appears or makes His Present-ness manifest. This was one of those times.

As we moved from worship into teaching (its all worship; you know what I mean), Bob taught on the gifts of healing and the ministry of Jesus - that He never prayed, "Father, if it is Your will," or "Father, please heal them." He never prayed for healing, He always declared it.

At the end of the time, Bob invited one of our friends up, who is battling cancer. He invited us to stretch out our hands and declare healing for her. People began to do this, hesitantly, when Jack (not his name) stood up and began to shout, "Get out of her! You don't belong here! You have no right to be here!" and so on, proclaiming against the cancer in the name of Jesus. This went on for some time. Jack, I think, became self conscious and took on a bit of a theatrical tone to his voice. It was, perhaps, like Peter getting out of the boat to be with Jesus and then looked around and thought, "What am I doing here?!"

At the same time that Jack was proclaiming, our friend Janice (not her name) had her hand stretched out and began to shake. We've seen this with Janice before when she prays, but this time it gained volume and momentum until she was screaming and shaking violently. Eventually this subsided and another friend came and sat next to her and held her.

We've spent much of this week processing and debriefing all this. Janice had described her experience as starting with being angry about the cancer (as was Jack) and being moved by Jack's response. Then she felt the fire of God on her and in her, and it increased. Inwardly she felt at peace, though she knew she was screaming. Today I asked her if, while all that was going on, if she felt anything leave her. She told me, "Yes. Four dark things left me."

This was standard fare for the ministry of Jesus. He would come into religious gatherings and demons were provoked by His presence - they would shout at Him and He would cast them out. That is what happened for us Sunday. His presence provoked the darkness, exposing it, and casting it out. We didn't even pray for it. He just did it.

It makes me excited to go to church. I love His Presence.

A new kind of intercession

One of our pastor friends was sharing her frustration with law enforcement in her area - how they treat her, how they treat the people she advocates for. As she shared the pain in her heart, we began to pray.

Normally, we are advocating for the defendant, the criminal, the convict and ex-offender, the undocumented one - this is our calling, to stand with those who are harassed and helpless, who are oppressed by their own choices, by others, and oppressed by a system that is not for them. The good news is that God is for them. So we are often praying for them, for their cases and situations. When we pray, we bless those who oppose, we forgive those who have wronged.

This morning, we found ourselves not praying for our usual people but for those on the other side of the system. We repented of our judgments against them. We prayed for prosecuting attorneys whose very job is to agree with the accuser against another - we prayed that they would be set free from accusation. We prayed for particular attorneys and confessed that Jesus is the Friend of sinners and tax collectors (those in the system) and these were the tax collectors. We blessed them into Jesus' presence. We confessed that we had set ourselves against them on behalf of others, so instead advocated for them before our Father. We prayed for healing and refreshing, for true wisdom and discernment; to do justice and love mercy and walk humbly with our God.

It seemed like a breakthrough time.

Baptism Painting

This painting is on the wall of the landing on the way to the second floor of our building. It was painted by our friend, Troy Terpstra, finished in the summer of 2008. It stands 15 feet high and sitting on the stairs to take it in is a real joy. Sometimes we do a bible study just by talking through what we see in the painting. What do you see?

Troy's journey with this work began with work in the Skagit County Jail and gangs as he saw artwork coming out of the jail from Latino gangsters; one which depicted a Hispanic gangster Jesus on the cross. It got the creative wheels turning. The entire project took a year and a half and went through many forms before the final one.

Our primary places of ministry at Tierra Nueva are the jail and the migrant farmworker community. Our work in advocacy is standing along side those who are oppressed - by the choices of others and the systems, or by their own choices and how once you are on the wrong side of the system it is next to impossible to get out from under it.

One of the main themes we work with at Tierra Nueva is baptism - that in baptism, everything must die, everything must come under the water, all our allegiances other than our allegiance to God. We are to have no other gods before Him, to bow to no idols (the first two commandments) but we don't recognize our gods or idols (our allegiances) that need to come under the water. We need to be 'baptized' every day. What are the allegiances you see in the painting that are coming under the water?

When Jesus was baptized in the Jordan, what was the baptism for? We talk about His dying to all forms of identity apart from the one the Father speaks over Him - You are My Beloved Son; I AM delighted in You. Perhaps He died to national identity as an Israelite; to family identity as the son of Mary and Joseph; to His occupational identity as a carpenter. When Jesus goes out into the wilderness, it is His identity as the Beloved Son of the Father that is challenged each time by the devil. Later, in the gospel of John 14:30, Jesus will say, "The ruler of this world is coming, but he has nothing in Me."

In dying to worldly forms of identity, Jesus is able to stand in solidarity with the poor and the oppressed. Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He was come from God and was going back to God... Jesus was able to be the Advocate. When we are caught up in worldly forms of identity we feel we must advocate for ourselves against those who threaten our identity, but when we receive our identity as beloved daughters and sons of our heavenly Father who is delighted in us (before we do anything! Jesus hadn't done anything but be baptised), we are freed to be filled with the powerful Spirit of God (who is another Advocate) to partner with God on behalf of the poor, the broken, the widow and the orphan.

Ask the Holy Spirit to search you and know you and reveal to you allegiances and ways of creating identity for yourselves that need to come under the water of baptism again today.

Let a little child lead us

We want to stir up the expectation that when we gather we will encounter Jesus, the risen One, who is always with us and never leaves us. As we experience His presence, hearing His voice, watching the Holy Spirit work, we see that He will lead us out into the world to be a place where other people encounter Jesus through us.

As we have continued to meet with the kids in our Friday group, we have been reading Brad Jersak's Children, Can You Hear Me? inviting kids to picture Jesus in a favorite place. How does He greet you? What does He look like? What is the expression on His face? What does He say to you?

Later in the week, one of our community was meeting with a distressed friend. As their conversation progressed, they invited this friend to meet with Jesus and heard Jesus say words that touched them so deeply that they felt something dark leave them.

Just bringing people into the light of Jesus' presence... beautiful.

Becoming Like Children

Last night we met for our fourth time as a fledgling community in Bellingham. At one point after dinner we gathered together, eight adults and four kids. We asked the kids what they thought Jesus meant when He said we needed to become like little children in order to see the Kingdom.

Tamera, who is eight, said that adults forget what they knew when they were kids and don't have good imaginations.

We read some out of Brad Jersak's Children, Can You Hear Me?, a children's book on hearing and seeing Jesus with the eyes and ears of your heart. Kaedon, seven, said you have to be a kid on a swing to see God in the clouds. When asked how we were to do that, Tamera said we needed bigger swings.

We asked the kids to go around and pray for each of the adults that we could become more like children. It was really beautiful. Jesus was there.

Interview with the author of The Shack

I was recently interviewed "man on the street" style about The Shack for Cornwall Church in Bellingham where William Paul Young was going to speak. Below is the link to his interview. He speaks of his life growing up as a missionary kid who was physically and sexually abused and how that impacted him - it is a deeply moving story that informs his writing of a book to tell his children what he believes after 11 years of therapy.

www.vimeo.com/10847190

Freedom in the Jail

I've been meeting with Dean (not his name) in the Whatcom County Jail for several months now. When we first met and talked about Jesus, his language sounded like a Sunday school idea of God being out there somewhere and prayer being that thing you said before you went to bed, if you said it at all.

As we have talked and I've shared stories with him about the beautiful, radical, supernatural things Jesus is up to, Dean has been drawn in to a deeper engagement with Jesus. Today as we talked, I felt Jesus wanted to lift some burdens off of him. We read Matthew 11:28-30 -

Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon yourself and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

We talked about the things he was carrying and I asked him if he wanted to exchange his burdens for Jesus' burden. Sure. So we did a meeting place - if you could meet with Jesus anywhere, where would that be - imagine it. If Jesus were there, what would He look like? How would He greet you? And so on. We've done this before and Dean usually meets Jesus in the same place - in the woods.

As he did, I asked Jesus, "Jesus, if there is a place You'd like to meet Dean that is different that what he is imagining, will You take him there?" There was several minutes of silence and I asked Dean what was going on. He said it was the most incredible thing. When I had asked Jesus that question, the meeting place changed.

As he had been walking on a path in the woods, suddenly he was walking on clouds. He was carrying a backpack full of his burdens. As he unpacked it, he found it was full of glass spheres, each with a name of a burden. He handed each one over to Jesus and they disappeared. Then Jesus gave him a very large glass sphere with the word "sobriety" on it.

Dean was blown away as we talked about how he had encountered Jesus there in a 3x4 concrete room as we prayed over the visitor phones. I just love how Jesus loves him and makes Himself known. We prayed into the vision for Jesus' strength and presence to be with him as he receives the burden of sobriety.

A Word from the Lord

Last week at the Underground Coffee project (www.undergroundcoffeeproject.com) (our gathering for ex-offenders, gangsters, and addicts), Nicholas came up to me and said, "Check out what God is saying." He starts to read 2 Corinthians 8:10-12, but his bible is King James Version and when he finishes, I tell him, "Dude, I have no idea what you just read."

I open my bible and begin to read, And in this manner I give you my judgment: this benefits you, who a year ago started not only to do but also to desire it. So now finish doing it...

This is completely out of the context the Apostle Paul is writing about, but as I read it the Presence of God came into the basement so strongly that I had to stop reading and close my eyes and worship. God was highlighting a word for me. A year ago was when He told me to "plant a church." As I began to think about it then and desire it, even to start planning, I felt Him tell me, "No. Wait."

I moved to a chair and Nicholas is praying over me as I continue to read: ...so that your readiness in desiring it may be matched by your completing it out of what you have. For if the readiness is there, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what a person does not have.

Again, the Presence of God rushes in and I am compelled to stop and worship.

I have had worries about the endless possibilities of what it should look like and whether I can do this or that or the other thing, and feeling like I have to have it all figured out before we start. God was speaking directly into all of it. He says that the Word will be accompanied by signs to confirm it. He is so good!

Amen and amen.

Nick at Night

We are not a recovery house. We are learning, but it is painful. Two and half months ago, we scooped up Nick getting out of prison after 3 1/2 years. Several men took him away to a mountain cabin and prayed with him and showered him with the Father's love and adoption. Nick came back to stay in our building and be in our community. Though the possibility of relapse was there, Nick was getting back in touch with his 8 year old son. He was deciding what he wanted with his life.

But he was also struggling - Romans 7 struggling. I do not do what I want to do; in fact, the very thing I do not want to do, that is what I do...

One night he decided to visit his old girlfriend and relapsed. When he called the next day, he just wanted his money, so he could get high, but we wouldn't give it to him. He came by and said he didn't want us to pray for him or get spiritual. When he tried to leave, Chris kept stepping in his way and praying. We worshipped and prayed and eventually Nick calmed down and stayed.

But we are not a recovery house and keeping a constant eye on Nick took its toll on the four other men living in the building. Nick relapsed several more times. Each time he would return, repentant. At one point, I took him to a doctor's appointment. He told her he was tired of people keeping an eye on him all the time, treating him like a child. She was a straight shooter; she said, "You're right. We are keeping an eye on you. You are acting like a child." As she was leaving she stopped and said, "You have a lot of people putting themselves out there for you. Take advantage of it."

But heroin and meth play a mean fiddle and Nick dances. Relapse, detox, etc. He is now in a treatment facility for 90 days. We are not a recovery house, but we are learning what we can do and what we can't.

When the Holy Spirit takes over in worship

We were having a mini-retreat last weekend at New Earth Refuge. The topic for the afternoon was to be "what does it mean to be led by the Spirit in worship?"

One of the sayings we have picked up along the way is "plan by principle but be led by the Presence." So, in principle I had planned. But as we spent some time listening to worship music I found myself responding / feeling differently than I have in the past listening to this music. I sensed that the Holy Spirit wanted to show us what it looked like to be led by the Spirit, rather than for us to talk about it. I don't want to talk about You like You're not in the room - I want to look right at You, I want to sing right to You.

I sensed the Presence of God in a stronger way in the room and began to worship more as we responded to His Presence. I began to pray for people and saw that God was touching each person significantly. We stayed in that place for a while. Things I had planned to do after the teaching time, I felt the Spirit say, "You don't need to teach what I am doing right now. Go ahead and do those things." So I invited people to surrender more to Jesus and to receive more from Him. It was so beautiful to be a part of.

Then we shifted to a time of debriefing and discerning. 1 John 4:1 tells us to "test every spirit." We talked about what the Spirit had been doing, what each person's experience and understanding of it was - how important it is to have that time to discern, since there is a lot going on in us and it isn't all from God.